There are 2 ways to get through the pain of a breakup. You can wait it out or ride it out. Waiting it out means just that - literally soaking in it, sometimes for years, until it finally passes and doesn't hurt as much. (nothing more fun than marinating in suffering.) Riding it out is the opposite. Riding it out is when you strap on your suit, grab your long board, and force yourself to get on the wave. In survey after survey, the stories revealed that those who forced themselves to push through the rough waters got through it feeling empowered and confident about their abilities to navigate relationships in the future. Those who waited it out were seething with resentment for the wasted years of their lives and were still wrestling with confusion. I know it's still a hard choice - seething or confident, seething or confident? How about them apples? Sprucing yourself up is the epitome of riding it out. It's a shitty journey, but at least you're gonna look hot on the way.!
Sharing your solitary self takes trust. Revealing the inner workings of your heart exposes you to the rebuke of indifference and the icy frustration of not being taken seriously. WHO wants to suffer the pain of not being heard when you most need someone to listen? To allow another (it will only be one or two at best, never others) to come close, to know the same self you are when you are alone with yourself, is the heart of intimacy. Being intimate is displaying in the presence of another the self you discover in solitude. WHAT A RISK HANGS ON THIS. If you show your true self and are rejected because the other person did not understand or care enough to allow you to make yourself understood, you recoil, perceiving the whole world as hollow, empty as a shadow play. Where is life's meaning if such sacred knowing cannot be shared? Kindred spirits do not need to work on this. In each other' s presence they find all the encouragement they need to be alone together. First you must love being alone with yourself. Then you must love the other. The selves that appear in that interface define a world that appears every time they are together. Which is the reflection? which is the source?