There are 2 ways to get through the pain of a breakup. You can wait it out or ride it out. Waiting it out means just that - literally soaking in it, sometimes for years, until it finally passes and doesn't hurt as much. (nothing more fun than marinating in suffering.) Riding it out is the opposite. Riding it out is when you strap on your suit, grab your long board, and force yourself to get on the wave. In survey after survey, the stories revealed that those who forced themselves to push through the rough waters got through it feeling empowered and confident about their abilities to navigate relationships in the future. Those who waited it out were seething with resentment for the wasted years of their lives and were still wrestling with confusion. I know it's still a hard choice - seething or confident, seething or confident? How about them apples? Sprucing yourself up is the epitome of riding it out. It's a shitty journey, but at least you're gonna look hot on the way.!
Whenever you're going, whatever your dreams, the next step you take will be from this place. You cannot take that next step unless you know where you are right now. To risk without knowing the ground you stand upon is to leap into the darkness. The next step is not going to be all that different from the steps you took to get to this place. KNOW this place. Know how you got here, your motivations, the truth about your shortcomings, the limitations that held you back. Know the ground on which you stand, without illusions, pretense, or self-deception. We all want to believe we are better off than we are, but at the time when we risk and have to look into the depth of the chasm we're trying to span, our weakness display themselves and deflate our resolve. So know where you are. Accept your condition for what it is. Take responsibility for getting here and staying as long as you have. If you've been stuck, admit your fear and lack of courage. Don't blame others. Don't condemn the world. The place where you stand is the consequence of your determination. If you find your achievements lacking, look into yourself, not outside. Perhaps you were not motivated. Perhaps you did not want what you claimed you needed. Perhaps you only fooled yourself. If you understand how you got to this place, you will know the next step and how to take it. Don't fear the future, read the past.